I Survived

I survived going back to work. While it has not been easy by any means, at least I have made it through 2 days back to school without being a complete basket case. Yesterday was much harder than I would have ever imagined. I love my job and was excited to get back into some sort of a routine. But when I had to hand sweet Will off to my mom yesterday morning, I lost it. I sobbed all the way to work, which is only a mile, so I was very red faced when I got there. Then I started crying again when my co-worker asked me how it was to be back and leave Will. I thought that I did pretty good in preparing myself over the past 8 weeks by leaving him with my mom every other day or so and running to Target or whatever other errands I needed to run. But leaving him for a whole day is much different! Once the day started I was fine, simply because I have a very fast-paced job (any teacher does). So once the kids entered the classroom I was very busy until 2:35. I only called home twice to check on him! Today was much easier. Still hard, but no tears were shed. I know I am extremely blessed to have my mom come to my house to take care of him-he could not be in better hands and at least I know that someone is loving him as much as I would while I am gone. But it is still hard. I never thought I was cut out to be a stay at home mom but my thoughts have changed drastically since having Will. I miss him so much while I am away. It is funny how much your priorities change once you are looking out for someone more than yourself. I do not take for granted our afternoons spent together like I did on maternity leave. I guess I just didn't think about how soon it would be over. 8 weeks flew by. He has changed so much and gotten so much bigger. Normally I am concerned with laundry and making sure the den is straightened up and cleaning the kitchen...now all of those things have gone to the wayside. If they get done after Will goes to sleep at 8:30, great. If not, there are bigger things in life. And all of that stuff will be there tomorrow. I am trying to just enjoy my time with him in the afternoons and remember that soon he will grow up and not think it is so cool to cuddle with his mommy. For now I am going to bed. It was much easier waking up so early when I knew I would have time to nap at some point during the day. Now it is non-stop from about 4:30ish A.M. until 9:00 P.M. But I am enjoying every second!!