A LOT of reasons why we are ready to say goodbye to July and August!!!!

July and August have been 2 of the hardest, draining months of our lives. We seriously can't remember a time so exhausting since we have been married! Allow me to recap all that has gone on in our house....
-First week in July I got a call from the dermatologist that a mole they had removed had come back as melanoma and I needed to see a cancer specialist at Kirklin Clinic. Appointment was made for 3 weeks later.
-July 13: Will fell off the bed and fractured his collarbone.
-July 22: Appointment at Kirklin Clinic with Dr. Urist. John and I went in fully prepared to have the doctor remove some extra skin around the place the mole had been taken off and be done. This appointment proved only to be a consultation and we learned the whole surgery was going to be a little more involved than we originally thought. Surgery scheduled for July 28.
-July 28: Arrive at Kirklin Clinic around 10. I had to have a dye injection done first so they could see which lymphnode was feeding the tumor in my arm (when I say tumor, it was very very small). Once they found the lymphnode, they marked it in my armpit and sent me over to outpatient surgery. The surgery lasted about an hour and a half. They had to put me completely to sleep since they removed the lymphnode in my armpit and took out a significant amount on my arm. We got home around 6:00 P.M. It was an extremely long day!!
-July 30: I take Will to the Doctor. He is not acting right-crying a lot and running fever. Holding his ear. Dr. said his ears did not look normal but were not infected, just red and inflamed. Gave us ear drops and a prescription for Omnicef, telling us not to fill it unless he took a turn for the worse over the weekend.
-July 31: John works (Saturday)
-night of July 31: Will's fever spiked so we started the Omnicef.
-August 2: Will started daycare...(you've probably already read this detailed account earlier on the blog)
-August 3: We took Will off the Omnicef. The side effects were awful.
-August 4: Will goes back to Children's to have another x-ray to make sure his collarbone is healing properly. It is. I get a call this afternoon from Dr. Urist that all margins from the skin removed on my arm came back clear but that my lymphnode had some abnormal cells in it. He was not too concerned but wanted me to have a CT PET scan to ensure cancer was not anywhere else in my body.
-August 7: John works (Saturday)
-August 9: I start back to school. Teacher Work day.
-August 10: In meetings at school. Leave about 2pm headed to UAB for a follow up with Dr. Urist and my CT PET scan. If you know me, I do not sit still and do absolutely nothing very well. I had to sit and do nothing for 2 hours for this scan. There was not clock so I couldn't tell if 5 minutes or 50 had passed. I thought I was going to go crazy.
-August 11: I get the results from CT PET scan around 11:00-ALL CLEAR!!!! Meet the teacher started at 2pm.
-August 12: First student day
-August 13: Pick Will up from daycare and he doesn't seem to be feeling well (he has been in daycare 2 weeks at this point). Friday night Will wakes up several times...
-August 14: John works (Saturday.....AGAIN) Will misses out on his friend's birthday party because he has some diarrhea and I was afraid to get him around other kids. My friend Holly comes in town for Alabama's bid day on Sunday. My mom comes over after I put Will down for a nap. I leave with Holly headed for Tuscaloosa for her to go to Alpha Gam's serious night to see her youngest sister that is going through rush. My mom calls me about 2 hours after I left and said that Will is having labored breathing. John is on his way home from work so I tell her to have him call me when he gets there. John calls and says he thinks he needs to take Will somewhere now, he is wheezing pretty bad. I call our after hours number at pediatrician and get Will an appointment at Children's Hospital After hours clinic. John takes Will for his 5:45 appointment. Turns out he has bronchilitis and a double ear infection. Dr. gives him a breathing treatment while he is there, prescription for Augmentin, and an inhaler. John finally gets Will home about 8:00. Holly and I get home from Tuscaloosa about 11:00. Will is up about every hour because he can't breathe.
-August 15: John had to go into work until lunch time (SUNDAY). I am completely over him working on the weekends and really overwhelmed with all that is going on with Will.
-August 16, 17, 18 My mom stays home with Will because he is sick and we don't want to send him to daycare. Will thinks we are back to our old arrangement with Kiki keeping him during the day.
-August 19, 20: Extremely hard daycare days. Drop off was a nightmare! Thursday when I got to work I completely fell apart.
-August 21: Another Saturday.....John WORKS. AHHHH. John had to choose several Saturdays to work between July and December and so he chose them all in a row in August so he wouldn't have to work during football season.
-August 23: My parents leave for Alaska and will not return until September 8 (that's 17 days). I go ahead and prepare myself for Will to get sick again. It would only make sense, since my parents would be gone and unable to help me. Murphy's law.
-August 26: Will has up to this point had a great week at daycare. Drop off is getting easier. That night after dinner we played outside for a while and then came in for bath, books, and bed. As soon as I turned his light out to rock him before bed, he started coughing. That deep cough like he had 2 weeks ago with bronchilitis. It is very croupy sounding and he can't breathe without a rattle. I hold him and let him sleep in my arms until 11. I was really afraid to put him down, for fear he might stop breathing. Around 11 he was not comfortable laying with me so I finally put him in his bed. We decided that he probably shouldn't go to daycare the next day so I put in for a sub. I go up to school very late to make lesson plans and get copies run off for my class.
-August 27: I call first thing in the A.M. to get Will an appointment at the pediatrician. Our pediatrician is out of town for 11 days...go figure. We see her partner. She is very worried about his breathing and gives him a breathing treatment while we are there. She looks at his ears and says they aren't infected, but red and inflamed. We have been hearing this since June. She reviews his chart and said that he needs to see an ENT. She prescribes 2 different inhalers, Singulair to help with breathing, and an antibiotic that she tells us to wait and fill over the weekend if he doesn't seem to be getting better. Luckily, my cousin's brother is an ENT. We were able to get an appointment that afternoon. As soon as Will woke up from his nap we loaded back up and went to the ENT. Will was not a fan. Dr. said his adnoids need to come out and he needs tubes. He did a nose culture and recommended we go ahead and start the antibiotic that pediatrician gave us, saying he was clearly infected and the sooner he started taking that, the better. Surgery is set for the following Wed (Sept 1) and I fill the antibiotic on the way home.
-August 28: in the early hours of Saturday A.M. I wake up feeling very sick. My stomach had bothered me yesterday, but I was so busy with Will that I didn't really think much of it. About 1am I start throwing up. I am freezing with chills and feel very sick. By about 7am Will is awake, John takes care of him while I lay in the bed. And now I am laying in bed, not feeling normal, but not feeling nearly as sick as I did earlier. John is out with Will on this beautiful Saturday at the park and I am stuck here.
Doesn't this make you tired just reading it :) I have never been more ready to say adios to two months in my entire life!!!! We are looking forward to September-hopefully it will be a calm and less stressful fall.

How did we ever clean our house before little man came along???

Sleep

Thank goodness for weekends!! We have had a very restful one and were able to catch up on some much needed sleep. Here is how Will prefers to catch his zzzzzzz's these days...I could kiss those cheeks all day long!

Diggers!

Digger is certainly not a word I would have ever guessed would be part of my regular vocabulary. But I guess Will has changed a lot of that. His newest obsession is diggers and the like-any kind of construction equipment, really, will do. It all started with his favorite book, My First Word Book. There is a picture of a digger. A while back when we were at the zoo, which is being majorly renovated, Will became completely enthralled with all of the construction going on. He showed no interest in the animals, but wanted to sit and watch the digger move dirt around. Last week while Will was sick and Kiki took care of him, he apparently showed Kiki the picture of the digger a lot. So when she was in Wal-Mart the other day, she found this digger and said that Will should have it. This is not your average digger. It rumbles as it cranks up, talks to you, and even plays some rock music. It is definitely Will's favorite toy right now!!

This picture below was taken right when he had hit the music button. He cracks up and starts rocking his head back and forth....I guess because that is what he saw us do when he hit it the first few times :)

Today has been wonderful. After a really hard couple of weeks starting back to work, Will getting sick, and then terrible drop off both Thursday and Friday mornings when he went back to daycare, a lazy Saturday was just what I needed. Unfortunately John had to go in to work this morning for a little bit. But this allowed me and Will to spend some time cuddling in bed watching Mickey this morning. Then we went on a breakfast date to Chick-fil-A, he helped me grocery shop and now he is napping peacefully. This sounds awful, but some days during the summer I would count down the minutes until he went down for a nap. He had worn me out and I just couldn't think of anything else to entertain him with. Today I almost missed nap time because we were having so much fun playing!! I definitely will never take the weekends for granted anymore!

The Perks of Being a Boy

I was cleaning out my car when I saw John with Will in tow go over to the garbage can and get the diaper box out. He carried it back over to the side of our house...curious as to what was going on, I followed and proceeded to hear John tell our son that..."this is a perk of being a boy. You get to do crazy stuff with a box on a hill." Then he started to pull Will down the hill. Will was loving every second (even when he crashed at the bottom and came flying out of the box)and this was by far the best free entertainment we have ever discovered!

Crazy with a capital C

My life has been just a wee bit CRAZY since mid last week. I started back to work on Monday. I like a bit of a routine, so starting work didn't bother me. Except for running around trying to buy last minute things for my classroom and get my classroom set up again made me a little nuts. Several days I only saw Will for an hour or so and there were several nights that I was up at school once Will went to bed. But thankfully by Thursday, the first day of school, life seemed a little normal. I was getting home at a normal hour, Will had settled into his 2nd week of school pretty well. Then Friday came...Will came home with a stuffy nose and was coughing a little. I figured it was just daycare germs and I have been told to get used to the runny nose for a while. By mid-afternoon Saturday we couldn't brush it off as a "little daycare bug." Will was having to work to breathe and it did not sound good. Very rattly and when he coughed it sounded like a car engine was coming out. A trip to the after hours clinic informed us that Will had bronchilitis and a double ear infection. NO FUN! After $100 bucks spent on an inhaler and some augmentin, we were on our way to nursing him back to health. Yesterday was the first day that I feel like he was almost back to 100%. Bless his sweet heart, he has pretty much been in a good mood, except for at night, when he can't breathe. His appetite hasn't been great and his diapers have been hideous, but all in all I think he is over it. We held him out of daycare Monday and Tuesday to prevent him spreading his germs or picking up someone elses and relapsing. He could have probably gone back today, but we figured one more day wouldn't hurt and today is the first day he hasn't had a snotty nose. I am DREADING tomorrow. This morning I was driving him to my mom's house and explaining that today we were going to Kiki's house but tomorrow we would go back to school and see Ms. Victoria and Ms. Tamikya. "Doesn't that sound fun, Will??!!" He proceeded to start to cry at just the mention of their names. Drop off tomorrow should be awesome :) Please say a prayer for Will for the rest of the week. Transitioning back to daycare after all the fun he has had with Kiki is sure to be hard on the little guy.

Day 5...A Survival Account by Will

I survived my first week of daycare. I am not really sure why I have to go there, but Friday I decided it wasn't so bad...I ate all my snack, played with the kids on the playground (they scared me at first so I didn't play with them all week), I ate most of my lunch (there were pickles...YUM!!), and I even slept for 2.5 hours. This seemed to be what my teachers and mommy and daddy were most excited about. You see, earlier in the week, I kept most of my classmates awake because they actually thought that I was going to sleep on this nap mat, basically ON the floor, with some rainforest sounds. Don't these people know that for the last 18 months of my life I have had the pleasure of napping in my nice, spacious, soft crib with waterfall sounds, NOT rainforest. I wasn't buying it...even if there was a monkey on my nap mat. But after 4 days of being there, I was all tuckered out and figured that all the other kids were doing it...so it couldn't be that bad.
Last night mom and dad surprised me with a FROG cookie from Edgar's-the holy grail of all sweet things. They were so proud of me for being such a good boy yesterday. After that delicious sugary frosted cookie, I have decided I could be a good boy EVERY day if I am greeted in the afternoon with that kind of sweet treat.
I had such a fun night playing with my mommy and daddy. They even let me stay up until 8:30!!!!!
This morning was an extra special surprise...I woke up and ate breakfast and an hour later I was still in my pajamas...Mom hasn't gotten ready....there has been no sign of my backpack or nap mat.....Mom must have forgotten to take me today. YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!! As you can see, I am very happy about this. Maybe every week Mom will forget to take me for a day or two and I can hang out at home.
Peace Out!

Day 4

For once I have something else to report besides tears! Don't get me wrong, today wasn't perfect, and tears were definitely shed, but I needed Will to have a good day today, and he actually had a decent one! After last night, I wasn't sure how much more he or I could take! Today he started crying as soon as I picked up his backpack, before we had even gotten into the car. He cried on and off pretty much the whole way there. At the request of his teacher, I had packed him the blanket that he sleeps with at home and his lovey, that he doesn't use, but it stays in his bed. She was hoping these things would comfort him while he was away from home and help him nap. That is our major issue at this point. He isn't napping well, and when he isn't napping during nap time, he is crying, which is disrupting the other kids from napping. His teachers have not told me he is disrupting the other kids, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that nap time is probably not too peachy for the rest of the class with a screaming child. Anyways, when I picked him up today, he was just walking around, looking pretty pitiful, but they said that he slept for an hour and ten minutes which is major progress from yesterdays 45...they also said he went a whole 2.5 hour span where he was totally fine-no tears for those 150 minutes!! So at least today was better than yesterday. We can only hope for small victories at this point, and I feel like we got one today. After I dropped him off this morning, I was at my wits end. I had so many mixed feelings. Several times today I found myself in his room with his blanket in my lap, on my knees, pleading with God to please let today be a better day. To calm his anxious heart and help him to get a good nap. I don't know what else to do but to pray. I have always been told that you feel closer to God when you pray regularly. I don't think God and I could be any closer at this point-I find myself lifting prayers up for Will several times an hour, while doing random things. But it is the only thing that comforts me while he is there and I have no idea how he is doing. I know God loves him far more than I do, so I should trust that He will look out for him while I can't. Easier said than done, but I am working on it.
To top it all off, WILL CAME HOME WITH HIS FIRST ARTWORK TODAY!!!! I teared up when his teachers handed it to me (I am pretty sure they think I am a basket case!!). This is Will's first ever art work and it was almost as if God knew that I needed a "pick-me-up" after a rather tough week.

So if you are one of those people out there that has been praying for Will (and for me), THANK YOU!!! And if you aren't, please get busy...I have 186 more school days until summer vacation again :)

Day 3

I keep thinking that every day Will is at school has to be better than the day before. Today proved to be worse. Drop off was the same. Screaming crying but I am used to that by now. This time he started crying when we got to the Piggly Wiggly which is about a mile from his daycare, so clearly he has caught on to the routine and he knew we were taking the same route as yesterday and the day before. So I dropped him off as usual and it is getting easier for me to do that simply because they have told me that he calms down shortly after I leave. Progress.
Today, I had to pick him up at 2:00 so we could get to a doctor appointment to check and make sure his collar bone was healing okay. One of his teachers told me he cried a good bit more today and when I asked if he cried all day, she smiled a little and said, "Well, I don't want to say all day." Great.....
What makes it worse is after we got home from the doctor he was in a pretty foul mood. He cried and whined and couldn't be pleased. We decided to take him to Chick-fil-A for dinner, thinking that might raise his spirits...he cried all the way there, ate about 1 nugget but mostly fries, didn't even want ice cream (WHAT??) and cried the whole way home. He cried in the bath, cried while putting on pajamas, and didn't stop crying until the lights were off, sound machine on, and we were rocking. I mean I really do feel sorry for him...I know he is stressed, confused, exhausted, anxious, sad, etc. but come on....you are in your own house......momma and daddy are right here with you.....there is no more reason to be sad. So it makes me sad to see him this way because it really looks like it is wearing on him and his precious personality. I did not hear Will laugh today. I only saw a small smile once. That is pretty sad, since most of the time he smiles and laughs non-stop through our nightly bath, books, bed routine.
I promise after this week I will not be posting daily progress of how daycare is going, but it is sort of theraputic for me to just get my thoughts out there and maybe in a few weeks we can look back on these posts and laugh about how horrible it was at first-maybe then he will be loving life again.
I'll share one last thing that happened yesterday when I picked Will up-it was just too funny not to post...There are windows in the hallway outside his room so I can peek in and see him before I actually go in the door to pick him up. Yesterday I peeked in to see what he was doing before I actually went in. He was sitting at a table with 5 other kids, eating his ritz crackers and looked completely fine. No tears. Then he caught a glimpse of me through the window and literally his bite of ritz cracker he had just taken came shooting out of his mouth at the same time that he jumped up, ran to the door, and started crying hysterically. Anyway, it was just so funny to see him look so normal and then change into complete hysteria in about 0.2 seconds. It was also really funny to see him sitting at a little table with his other classmates. He is the oldest in his class by 2 months. He is also a big boy (height) for his age, so he towers over some of those kids. While some kids sitting at the table could barely see over it, Will had his elbows on the table- Guess we need to start teaching him some manners :)
Keep us in your prayers!!!

Day 2

Awful. Terrible. Hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. If you have ever had to drop your child off somewhere new, surely you can relate. I am not sure if the fact that Will is older and more aware than most kids when they start daycare makes it worse or maybe this just always happens. Or maybe Will just doesn't adapt to change very well. Whatever the case, there were no cutesy driveway pictures this morning...just tears. I mean I know it is only Day 2, but I feel like this is some sort of Mommy Boot Camp.....how much can you take before you just completely break. When I picked Will up yesterday they said he had a pretty good day- especially for someone who had never been anywhere before. His teachers told me that at random points during the day he would just lay out on the rug. He wouldn't sleep or anything, just lay out like he was overstimulated or something and take a break :) He ate a decent lunch and actually slept almost 2 hours on his nap mat. His teachers must be miracle workers. I didn't think there was a chance that he would ever go to sleep on that mat. One of his teachers said that he fought her for a bit, going over to the door and laying by it for a while, then laying by her a while, and finally getting settled on his cot. He was actually still resting on it when I picked him up yesterday. He couldn't see me when I walked in but as soon as he heard my voice he shot up and started crying. He clung so hard to me all the way to the car. We had a great afternoon. Being away from him all day certainly made me cherish every second I had with him once we were home. Last night was a little rough. I could not get him to sleep until 8:30 (an hour after his usual bedtime). Then he was up twice crying, almost like he was anxious. He woke up at 6am and was not going back to sleep. So today will probably be harder than yesterday because he is exhausted.
When I dropped him off this morning he was fine until we got into his room and I started to put him down...he immediately freaked out. It was the kind of cry where no noise comes out, just really red faced and big crocodile tears. His teacher tried to get him distracted with a book or truck and he just had his arms outstretched screaming "mamamamama." Talk about your heart breaking into a million pieces. It seriously was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Watching Will reach out with this look of "why are you doing this to me?"
So at least Day 2 drop off is over. Please keep Will (and me) in your prayers today. Yesterday was a piece of cake, today not so much.

He's Off!

No tears. Can you believe it?? Not even one. Now he could be crying hysterically by now, who knows, but as I dropped him off, he was perfect.
This morning Will got up about 6:45. I made him a waffle with some bacon and grapes. He ate a good breakfast and then we read some books. The whole time I just felt like I was delaying the inevitable. I got him dressed in his back to school get-up. He looked so adorable and the minute he put his backpack on, he looked about 5 years old. Will is obsessed with his back pack and would carry it around all day long if I let him.
My brother and sister in law started the tradition when Dylan started kindergarten (he will start 4th grade this year!!!) of taking his picture in their driveway with his backpack on. So I figured I would start the same tradition with Will....Which of course turned into a photo shoot....
He had some serious bed head this morning, but I did the best I could. As I sit here blogging in a very quiet house and trying to keep myself busy, these pictures just remind me of how much I love this little boy and what a precious blessing he has been to our lives. I can't believe he is already so big! This morning as we were driving there I was trying to get him super excited about what was about to happen. I spoke in my most enthusiastic voice about the new books he would read, the blocks he would play with, and the new playground he would get to play on. Each time I said something new, Will would gasp and start clapping. Things were looking good! I on the other hand was a little hot and sweaty, super nervous about dropping him off. I told Will I was going to say our prayers in the car and when I looked in my rear view mirror, he had his hands clasped together and folded like we have been working on when we say the blessing at dinner. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen. He kept them folded the entire time I spoke our prayers to the Lord-reassure Will that Momma would come back, keep Momma busy today and have peace about the situation, etc.
On our way in, he saw the playground and when he realized we weren't immediately going to the playground, he started to cry, only for a second and then he got it together. We walked into his room where other little children were playing with blocks and dishes and books. I started talking to his teacher and he started squirming, wanting down. So I put him down, and he started playing blocks with another little girl. He was totally fine, and didn't even have his paci. I was amazed. I talked to his teacher for a few more minutes and off I went. He looked at me twice while I was talking but didn't seem concerned and went back to playing.
I received an email from the director about 20 minutes ago that said "Will has had some tears this morning, but he is slowly settling in. We will give him lots of love. See you this afternoon." While it breaks my heart to know he has been crying, I knew it would happen, and I am so grateful that he is in a place that loves him so much and I know will take good care of him. So I'm off to the grocery store and any other task that might keep me busy for the next few hours, all while a constant prayer runs through my head for my sweet little guy!

Conflicted

Tomorrow is the day. After 18 months of life, Will enters the realm of daycare bright and early tomorrow. I struggled with whether to start him a week before I actually had to start back to work, feeling selfish to give up a whole week with him to help get him (really more me) adjusted. But I am trying in everything to do what is best for him, so he starts tomorrow. All of the other kids in his class will transition to this new class tomorrow. I felt like if Will started at the same time as those kids, then they could all cry together about a new room and new teachers. That way, if Will is hysterical, he will draw less attention to himself because all the other kids are crying too. You probably think I am crazy. If you only knew all the situations that had gone through my mind that "could happen" when he starts daycare. I have played them out a million times, all trying to figure out what might help Will transition the easiest. I haven't come up with anything! Sadly, I am just going to have to drop him off, act as if I am totally okay, give him a big hug and kiss, and walk as fast as I can to the car so as not to lose it in front of other adults. I have asked everyone I know about transitioning a child to daycare and they all say the same thing everytime..."He is going to be fine!" "Give him a week and he will love it!" I do believe all of these things and know he will be fine, it is just a tough pill to swallow. I have known this day was coming all summer. Thankfully, we found out the day we came home from Disney that a spot had opened up at the place we wanted him to go all along. He had been on the waiting list since December and I really didn't think he would ever get in. After A LOT of prayer we indeed got a call that Will was in!! That should be a post all for itself-who knew it was like getting into an extremely exclusive club when trying to get your kid into daycare. Really people should tell you when you first find out you are pregnant, to go ahead and call and get your kid on the waiting list. Anyways, it will be easier dropping Will off at the place that I felt in my heart was where he should be. I guess it is just a momma's instinct. We looked at several other options that were all very nice, they just didn't feel right.
Will got a postcard in the mail from his teachers this past week. He could have cared less. I on the other hand thought it was the cutest thing ever and it has been proudly displayed on our refrigerator ever since...first child syndrome, I know :)
So in my heart on this Sunday afternoon I feel extremely anxious and conflicted. I have LOVED being home with Will this summer. Enjoying lazy days spent in our pajamas, building blocks, reading books, working puzzles, snuggling, meeting friends at the pool and for lunch, basically having no schedule at all. I have enjoyed having him tag along with me most everywhere I went. It was also exhausting and I came to realize that my job from 7:30-3:00 is far easier than entertaining an 18 month old all day. Stay at home moms do not get the credit they deserve!!! I know it is time for him to be around other kids and learn new things. I am excited for him and scared for him all at the same time. I don't want him to look around tomorrow and not know where he is and not recognize anyone around him and FREAK out. I don't want him to feel like I abandoned him and that I am never coming back. I know he will figure out what happens and get used to the routine. Maybe this summer I should have been reading books about how to transition myself when I have to drop my child off :). Thank goodness I really do enjoy my job-I can't imagine having to drop off your child to go to a job you despise.
So tomorrow, please say a small prayer for me and for Will. That God will give me peace and calm my heart by tomorrow morning about 8:00. And that God would prepare Will for this new chapter in his life and that he will have a great day and be so busy that he won't even realize how long it had been since I left.
While I am still trying to prepare my heart, I feel like we are prepared in every other sense of the word. Will has a new L.L. Bean Junior backpack with his name on it, all packed with 2 changes of clothes, paci, butt paste, and sippy cups. We have a new monkey nap map that looks super cozy. We have his first day attire all picked out and even ironed (if you know me, I rarely iron!!). We are ready on the outside...it's getting ready on the inside that is really tough!