Looking Back

It is fun to think about what this time last year was like for me and John. We closed on our new house at the end of April. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. And this week last year, the Monday before Father's Day a doctor's appointment confirmed that we indeed would be expanding our family the next January. Reflecting on this series of events is funny to me. I found out I was pregnant the day after Mothers Day last year...it was a Monday. I was late, but of course was on birth control, so hadn't thought much about it. I started emailing a coworker, Holly, asking if she knew when she got pregnant, felt different, etc. She freaked out and told me I had to take a test. She talked to me on the phone the entire time I was in the car from Drake to Walgreens and stayed on the phone with me until I reached my apartment. She told me to call her as soon as I took it. I laughed it off and told her there was no way. 5 minutes later I was sitting on the toilet completely dumbfounded. Speechless. Limp. Alone. John started working in Birmingham at the end of March, so here I was alone in my apartment at 4 in the afternoon with a stick in my hand that had two lines. Not expecting two lines, all I could do was call friend and FREAK OUT. She was picking up her child from daycare and I ordered her to come immediately to my side. She obliged. We both then started freaking out. I knew I had a phone call to make. To my husband-heck no! I needed to make sure I had disability insurance all lined up so at least when I told him the news, he wouldn't panic about insurance. I made my appointment with the insurance people, then I continued to freak out. I called Shealy who was working out. I told her she needed to come over asap. She was at the gym and left thinking something had happened to Bentley. She arrived and then all three of us freaked out some more. They were excited, but I was completely in shock. I could not fathom the thought of any of it. Not that we didn't want kids, or that it was too soon, it just wasn't planned! I tried to figure out how I would tell John-do I just call him...I knew that this would be a moment we remembered for the rest of our lives so I wanted to make sure it was done right. I decided it had to be in person. I knew if I asked him to meet me half way on a Monday night he would know something was up. I decided to let myself process it and tell him on Friday when I was traveling to Birmingham to move some stuff into the house. The whole week was weird talking to John. I was keeping a secret-something I never do with John. I think he sensed something was up, but he just blew it off to the fact that I missed him. Holly convinced me to take another test on Thursday morning. This would be Test #2. Two lines again. Now I really had to plan out how I would break the news to John. Shealy, Holly, and I left after school to a baby store on college. I decided I wanted to buy an Auburn bib for him to unwrap. Friday morning I was anxious. Excited. I had no idea what to expect. As soon as school was over I loaded up my car and headed to Birmingham. I went over how this conversation would go in my head a million times. I didn't even know how to say it-that is why I bought the bib. I was nervous about how John would react. Looking back, this was silly. He has always been so supportive, but still-this is a huge, big deal that we hadn't guessed we'd deal with for a few more years. I decided to have John meet me at the park where we went all the time when we were dating. I told him I had a housewarming gift for him. Around 5:30 I pulled up. John was already there. We walked over to the swings where we had swung many times before. He started to unwrap his gift. I was so nervous that I fell out of the swing, off the back. Anyways, he told me later that at first he thought it was a gift for Bentley. Ha! When he held it up, he just looked at me, at the bib again, and back at me..."You're pregnant?!? That's awesome." That phrase, this memory will be forever etched into my brain. I was so relieved that he didn't panic. The weekend was fun-unpacking the kitchen stuff and hanging blinds. John wouldn't let me lift anything and called me his baby mama. The next few weeks were a blur. We decided not to tell our family until we had been to the doctor, knowing it could have just been a false positive and that it was still early. The days after we fully moved from Auburn, my mom would come over to help me unpack and I almost told her so many times because I felt so awful and the last thing that I wanted to do was sort through boxes :) The Monday before Father's Day we went to the doctor and saw little Caddy with our very own eyes. It was crazy to hear that racing heartbeat and know that was actually inside of me. We were going to wait until Father's Day to tell our families but of course when we left the appointment, I was about to explode. We went to the bookstore and bought Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now by Dr. Seuss. This is the first book that I learned to read with my dad, so this is how I decided I would tell my parents. I wrote inside, "Happy Father's Day Pops-Can't wait for you to read to me come January. Love, Baby V." My dad probably read that sentence 5 times before he knew what it meant. For John's family, we told them we had found some old pictures while unpacking and wanted to show them. We handed them the ultrasound pictures! Of course everyone was ecstatic. The rest of the night was filled with phone calls. We could never have imagine how incredibly happy and blessed and full our hearts would be one short year later!
If you are still reading, my apologies for the long post. I just wanted to recap these events for myself while they were still fresh so one day when I am old and gray, I can read about it and remember :)