2,920 Days and Counting...

Actually it is more like 3,010 days....I am a little behind on the ole blog. I can remember when I just had Will and it would annoy me when writers of blogs I loved to read would go months on end without a post. Now I totally understand how the blog might get pushed to the bottom of the totem pole amongst a to-do list. However, my goal this weekend is to get caught up as best I could. And first on my list is the anniversary post. I have done a post every year on our anniversary since I started writing this blog. And it has been bothering me ever since October that a post about our 7th year of marriage has yet to be written. If you recall, we spent our 8th anniversary in Disney World. The weekend after we returned, we learned we were expecting baby #3. And I guess the rest is history....ha! I felt like garbage for about 17 straight weeks and I am just now coming out of the newly pregnant fog. At 20 weeks, I finally feel like myself again.
For whatever reason, in my opinion, our 7th year of marriage was by far the hardest. I can't put my finger on any exact event that would make it hard....I can't think of a major argument or situation that is imprinted on my mind. It just was hard. Two active boys and two full time jobs kept us very busy and on our toes. It seemed at points like we just passed each other as we tended to the needs of our boys. With the busyness of life, communication broke down at points. I sometimes felt like we talked more over text than we actually did face to face :) But tis a season. Does this mean John and I loved each other any less during that year? Absolutely not. But do I feel like we had to "work" at our marriage more this past year than any other...absolutely! It makes sense. After about 7 years or so, you are super comfortable. The "newness" and "romantical whirlwind" has passed and you are faced with real life. Where laundry is coming out of our ears and dishes are always scattered along the counter. And if you don't laugh, well then you just might cry! But it is in those moments when you choose to love your mate. Even if you don't really like them at any given moment. I choose to love John each and every day, despite how irritated I am, or how slighted I feel. And thankfully, John chooses to love me too. I had to accept last year that marriage isn't always cheerful, and flowery, and bliss. It is work. Hard work. Work I am thankful to be able to do alongside John.
If you are like me, sometimes a song comes on the radio that you really relate to and it sticks with you. I could pinpoint two songs that sum up our 7th year of marriage. First, "Hard to Love" by Lee Brice. I know that I was hard to love at times last year. Sometimes I set expectations way too high and when things don't work out just like I think they should, John gets the blame. Sometimes I am high maintenance. I expect my feelings to be looked after when I am not doing a great job of looking after John's. My favorite part of the whole song is "I am a short fuse. I am a wrecking ball. Crashing into your heart like I do. You're like a Sunday morning, full of grace, full of Jesus. I wish that I could be more like you." I know this was a guy singing about a girl. But in our situation, in this verse, I feel like it is the opposite. I am the one with the short fuse. I am the one who loses it more often than I should. I am the one who lets things build up and then explode about the garbage in our bathroom not being taken out :) John is so much more composed in that way. I am sure he lets things build up. But he never truly blows up on me. He takes my shortcomings with such a calm spirit and such grace and I wish I could be more like him in that way. The other song that is a true testament of this past year to me is "Mine would be You" by Blake Shelton. I absolutely love this song. Because through everything, even a hard year, mine would always be John. Every. Single. Time. I have no regrets. I am so very thankful for this life I share with him. He has given me more than I ever expected, including two (almost 3!) boys that are my heart. Mushy post maybe. Wasn't going for that. But maybe, someone who reads might feel a little bit better knowing that it is okay and normal to not feel like everything is perfect all the time. The imperfection is what makes it...perfect.

Mine would be you
Sun keeps shinin', back road flyin'
Singing like crazy fools
Makin' up our own words
Laughin' 'til it hurts
Baby, if I had to choose
My best day ever
My finest hour, my wildest dream come true
Mine would be you