Hard

Hard is the word I would use to describe parenting lately. It is so much fun and filled with hysterical moments, but there are also those days when it is just plain hard. I went through a really hard weekend a few weekends ago (aquarium weekend). The whole aquarium was fine-disappointing that Will didn't love it, but he's not even one and a half and so we just dealt with it. However, upon returning home it was as if Will was making us pay for making him ride in the car for most of the day. The few days after our day trip, there were some nightmarish moments...fits, screaming fits, screaming in the middle of the night for about 3 hours fits, not wanting to go down easy for nap fits, throwing toys all over the place fits....It was on Sunday afternoon after trying to get him down for a nap and deciding to just ignore the screams that my eyes welled up with tears, I looked at John, and said "This.Is.Hard." I had picked up books and toys scattered all over the floor several times only to look again and they were back all over the floor. In that moment, I just wanted to collapse.
Fast forward a few nights when Will had calmed back down and I felt like things were under control again (Never say this-just when you get used to one stage, they totally change on you and you are back to square one). Anyways, I have been reading Bringing up Boys by James Dobson this summer. I got it for John on CD so he could listen to it on his commute. It has been a good read and fun for us to discuss different things that we could totally relate to. It was like God intended for me to be at this one passage in the book when I needed it most...

"Your task as a mother, in conjunction with your husband, is to build a man out of the raw materials available in this delightful little boy, stone upon stone upon stone. Never assume for a moment that you can "do your own thing" without serious consequences for him and his sister. I believe this task must be your highest priority for a period of time. It will not always be required of you. Before you know it, that child at your feet will become a young man who will pack his bags and take his first halting steps into the adult world. Then it will be your turn. By all expectations, you should have decades of health and vigor left to invest in whatever God calls you to do. But for now there is a higher calling. I feel obligated to tell you this, whether my words are popular or not. Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks every other responsibility. Besides, living by that priority when kids are small will produce the greatest rewards at maturity."

These words hit me. This is my calling right now. To be Will's mama. Not just through the fun times. Through all of it. It is my calling to hold him when he just wants to cry and not sleep, to pick up his toys 1,001 times EVERY day, to discipline him, to listen to him babble, to take time to read to him. Though it may be extremely hard and exhausting, it is all worth it. Each second with him molds him into the little man he will become someday. Hard to think about that now, but so very true! It is not about me right now, at all. Just wanted to share this passage so that anyone else who knows what I mean might be encouraged. And if you are raising a boy, I highly recommend this book! He also has just written Bringing up Girls that just came out about a month ago.